


When I See Your Light Shine, I Know I'm Home

by haline



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, idk why i wrote this yikes i tried to make it Sad but i couldn't so enjoy the fluff at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-13 00:02:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14738291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haline/pseuds/haline
Summary: Aline never thought she'd feel such a need to protect, but if there was one certainty in her life it was that she wanted—more than anything else—for Helen to be happy, and that was looking harder and harder as days passed in the cold loneliness of Wrangel Island.





	When I See Your Light Shine, I Know I'm Home

**Author's Note:**

> quick disclaimer i wrote this at work in my phone so there may be some typos, sorry about that but i hope you enjoy!

Aline found Helen crying on the kitchen floor.

She rushed to her side, hands fluttering briefly as she considered whether to touch her or not. Helen had her legs curled against her chest, face hidden, shoulders trembling from her racking sobs.

There were days where Helen would let Aline comfort her, hug her and let her cry on her shoulder. But there were other days, harder and colder, where Helen would take her sadness and hold it close, hold it so close not even Aline could get through it to her. Those days were the worst ones, days where Helen didn't even want Aline to touch her. Usually Aline just sat in silence next to her, waiting, until Helen cuddled to her or just fell asleep on her own, and then Aline would tuck her in and cry too, always in silence.

"Helen," Aline said softly, placing a hand on Helen's tense back. "Talk to me. Please."

Helen, of course, didn't answer. No matter how hard the days were she never answered.

Aline crouched in front of Helen and carefully touched her on the arm. It was a soft touch, barely a brush, but it made Helen collapse against her like someone had blown a house of cards. Aline fell backwards, instinctively wrapping her arms around Helen and taking all of her weight.

"Baby," Aline whispered, they were lying on the floor now, Helen on top of her, face buried on Aline's neck. She hadn't stopped crying. She usually didn't stop for a long time, sometimes even hours. "I'm here. I'm with you."

Helen's sobs ripped through Aline like lightning from within, it spread tendrils of pure _aching_ inside of her. Seeing Helen cry always made her feel like she was being ripped open, it was the worst type of pain.

There was silence as Helen held onto her. It was almost routine by this point, Aline didn't say anything as Helen's cold tears trailed down her neck.

Finally, Helen spoke. It was said through tears and with a voice that cracked like shattered ice. "I'll never see them again."

Aline closed her eyes. "You will," she said, mostly by instinct. "I promise. I know it seems far away but—"

"But one day?" Helen sighed, then sat up on the cold floor again. She was wearing a long sleeved shirt that was too thin for this weather, she did that a lot, not caring enough about herself to try and be comfortable. "I feel like I'll have to wait forever, trapped in here. How long has it been already? Five months? Aline I don't think—I  don't think I can do this much longer."

Aline took Helen's hand as she sat up in front of her. Cold hands, they were always cold. "You can. You shouldn't have to, but you absolutely can. I'm here for you, alright? I'll always be here for you, and we'll get through this together."

It was a speech. Aline had had this conversation with Helen dozens of times, they were less frequent now, they used to happen every night. The pain was the same, the sad, sorrowful look on Helen's eyes was the same, the tears were the same, everything was the same as those first nights, except that now it didn't happen that often. But it happened enough for Aline to always be choked up with anger.

Helen shouldn't have to go through this pain, she shouldn't have to cry like that, her eyes shouldn't ever look like that. Aline shared the pain, and Angel knew she felt it too, but the _anger_ inside of her was so incredibly raw, it boiled in her blood and in her chest, it made her snap at anyone who even looked at Helen in the wrong way.

Aline never thought she'd feel such a need to protect, but if there was one certainty in her life it was that she wanted—more than anything else—for Helen to be happy, and that was looking harder and harder as days passed in the cold loneliness of Wrangel Island.

"You never ask what's wrong anymore," Helen said under her breath.

Aline was taken aback, and for a few seconds she could only blink. "What?"

"You used to," Helen said, still not looking up. "Before the island, you always asked what was wrong whenever you saw me crying."

"I know what's wrong now."

"Of course you do," Helen sniffled. "It's always the same thing. I'm sorry."

"How many times do I have to say," Aline said, intertwining her fingers with Helen's, "that you don't have to apologize for absolutely anything?"

Helen sighed, and then the corner of her lips twitched in the smallest of smiles. "Absolutely anything?"

"Well, if you didn't do the dishes I'm going to be very mad at you."

Helen laughed softly, barely audible, the tears were still too fresh on her face. She ran her thumb over the Blackthorn ring on Aline's finger, delicately tracing the thorn design. That was another thing she was fond of doing, whenever she was thinking about her family, or whenever she was about to say—"I love you."

Aline smiled, brushing hair out of Helen's face. Helen cried silently but messily, all red face and red eyes and trembling lips. She wasn't crying anymore, luckily, but her eyes were still glistening as if she may start again at any second. "I love you too."

"I didn't do the dishes, by the way."

"Then I take it back."

Helen laughed again, a little louder than before, a little warmer, a little more like herself. "You wouldn't take it back if your life depended on it."

Smiling, Aline stood, and she pulled Helen to her feet as well. "You're right," Aline said. "I love you too much for that, you lazy idiot."

Helen took Aline by the lapels of her jacket and drew her in for a kiss that tasted like salt and coldness, but somehow still made Aline's heart flutter and her entire body melt. Helen relaxed against her lips with a sigh, like she'd spent the entire day holding a breath. Slowly they got into each other's space, until Aline had backed Helen against the kitchen counter and until Helen had wrapped her arms around Aline's neck, tightly, like she wanted to get past the heavy coat Aline hadn't taken off when she got to the house.

"Thank you," Helen whispered. "For being here, it really means everything."

"I'll be with you as long as you want me, Helen."

Helen smiled that radiant smile that always made Aline fall in love with her a little bit more. "Then you'll be with me for a while."


End file.
